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Showing posts from October, 2017

I am home

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Everyone wants to belong somewhere. I've spent a lifetime searching for that place, and yet, always feeling like I'm sitting right outside of it. Like all of my neighbors had a block party, and despite being in the midst of it, I wasn't invited. I discovered early in life that inclusion equals security, approval, acceptance; a place to rest, be fed, grow; a home.
And I've spent my life homeless.
black or white. be tamed or live free. the church or my truth. fit in or be me. real or raw. belonging somewhere or belonging nowhere.
In each home I would come across, I would run from room to room, searching, frantic to find one that embraced me, that girl who is both black and white, who bristles at domestication and instead breathes her fierceness, who deeply loves Jesus and finds religion stifling and hypocritical, who longs to belong and chooses to stand apart. Where was that room?
The drive to belong somewhere, anywhere, has had me moving into unfit homes all my life.  S…