Skip to main content


Showing posts from August, 2014

four leaf clovers, tattoos and legacies

Over two years ago, I wrote a post honoring my grandma F., who left this world for her eternal one 20+ years ago. You can read it here to understand the picture of my latest tattoo. This is an update to that original post.

You know how the little things are always appreciated more later in life? That is how I feel about relationships. I had so many in my earlier years, before I really knew what they meant, what those people meant, and now I can only wonder. Wonder if they understood that I was young, that I hadn't lived completely yet, that I couldn't wholly grasp the importance of life and love and what it meant to embrace fully those by my side. My grandma is one of those that I wish that I could spend time with again, time spent looking at her with these new eyes, listening with these wiser ears, talking with her about life from this place that I dwell in now. Growing up, I never, ever felt any judgment or condemnation from her, even though I was living a life outside of he…


For what seems like an eternity (really just 4 years), I have been searching the heart of Jesus, trying to find Him, and me, and who me truly is, and living life out simultaneously. No lie, it has been scary and liberating and hard and beautiful and so many other adjectives, good and bad, all rolled up into one ongoing process. To which I hope that there is an end but know that there isn't. And that's okay. What I have learned, am learning, is making me into who I've always been called to be. and that is worth it, so so worth it.

All of these processes, and there seemed to be so many, were teaching, eye opening, life changing. It is in these places, the ones that, to outsiders, look ugly and difficult and painful, that I've been discovering a new side of Papa, one that is so much more than I ever imagined, than I was ever taught growing up, than I ever experienced before. He is my Daddy, a good one, a loving one, who disciplines from a heart of love for my wholeness, …