in the midst of metamorphosis

Riding the bus during my childhood school years became my first memories of boys and bullying and the inexcusable being excused. These boys were older and they were, by far, worse than any "mean girls" I've encountered since. They were persistent and loud. They were relentless and aggressive. and they were never stopped. My first encounter of being groped was on that very same bus. A different boy but just as aggressive, just as persistent, just as relentless. A foundation had already been formed. I was less than and had no voice, no backbone, no knowledge to fight this surrounding system of boys will be boys. and I never stopped him. Years later, I would encounter this same attitude in the workplace, the one that had me trying to avoid the handsy cook in the walk-in, that had me laughing off customers advances so that I could make enough tips to support myself, that had me scared because a forceful patron had followed me home from my job at the bar and now knew whe...

Because this post also fits into another of my series - where the church gets it wrong - I will add the same disclaimer: I desire open, honest, and nonjudgmental communication from all people and all views and all ideas. The words of my posts are simply my own thoughts on how the church* can fully be operational in Love. Racism. It's a dressed up word for an ugliness that this country seems unable, or unwilling, to purge itself from. The struggles have been long and hard for all people of color here, and that is unacceptable. It is unacceptable for me, and it should be unacceptable for you. This isn't about following a famous football star or television personality or even our former president . This isn't about ratings or approval or 'jumping on the bandwagon'. This is about ending, once and for all, the inequalities, the abuses, the myths and fallacies, and the mistreatment of POC. and that is something that the church should be concerned with. Bri...

Somewhere, somehow, we've picked up this belief that relat ionships are a 50/50 endeavor. You give and I give. You take and I take. We have these preconc ei ved allocations of how mu ch, and it has to be a perfect balance , an equivalent counterweight. It's a misguided notion that ends with unmet expectations, both from others and of ourselves. If, at any point, the other takes more, gives less, we run to our drawing board, we add and subtract, we calculate the answers based on our   intentions . And they come up lacking.  Or, we constantly measure ourselves against the others actions. Are we giving enough? Are we taking too much? Do our own insecurities cause us to tip the scales unfairly? We are desp e rate to maintain some semblance of uniformity. And we come up lacking. We each separately draw this arbitrary line, calling it "the middle", the meeting ground of our equal give and take. We do our part and we wait, impatiently at our line in the sand, watc...