in the midst of metamorphosis

    **I don't know Britney Spears, why she did the things she did, or what her life was like growing up. These are just thoughts about my life, my assumptions of hers, and how the church is the one thread that weaves its way through both our lives.      Britney and I were both raised in church. Certain beliefs were instilled in us, even if only in subliminal ways (again, I don't actually know her life). Be a good girl, good daughter, good christian, good wife. The man/husband/father is the head of the home. What he says goes. What we want or have to say isn't important, our voice isn't important. Women, like children, are to be seen, not heard. Even while rising to her stardom, I'm sure these thoughts were always a part of her. The world may have been watching her, judging her, but more importantly, god (man) was watching and isn't he the ultimate judge?  be a good girl For years, Britney has used her voice in ways that entertained the masses. She used her ...

    Deconstruction is not for the weak. I use this phrase often because it is so very true. Weak doesn't ask questions because it is seen as disruptive. Weak doesn't rock the boat because it is seen as interference. Weak doesn't leave the fold to explore because it is seen as disobedience.  Weak sits meekly, waiting passively to inherit the fruits of another's labor. Weak swallows down all that rises up against the status quo, effectively becoming quite ineffective. Weak believes that its very weakness is a virtue, a symbolic step on the ascension to those pearly gates. I know because I have been there. I have done that. I have been weak with a capital W. I have sat down, and shut up, and done my best to be a "good little ___" (fill in the blank with whatever title fits for you that I am currently not living up to - churchgoer? daughter? friend? christian?). Because I am a lot of things, but if the version of me that you know - or want - is meek or submissive ...

I desire open, honest, and nonjudgmental communication from all people and all views and all ideas. The words of my posts are simply my own thoughts on how the church* can fully be operational in Love. My first post on racism and the church (found  here ) was written two years ago, and yet it is still relevant, still truth, still a problem. Though I am no longer a part of the church, I have been observing her, watching...waiting...hoping for her to stand up and take on this devil, this time. Here are a few of my observations on the three camps that have formed within the white church: "All lives matter" is the acceptable motto of the first camp. Here, its members are intent on proving that the church loves all people. While waving this sign, personally and on social media platforms, endears them to their fellow campers, they are either blatantly ignorant to the troubling implications of this mindset (honestly, in this day and age, ignorance can no longer be an excuse ...

Several months ago, I shared about my walk away from religion (you can read that  here ). Looking back, I realize that the path away from organized religion had really started years before. Back when I was a teen questioning the black and white rules. Back when I was an idealistic new wife and mom questioning the patriarchy within the church. Back when I dared to voice my belief in a large gray area where grace resided and love covered all. Every one of these thoughts, and more, was conceived inside of my heart before I ever gave birth to their words aloud.. As a (former) people pleaser, I didn't want to offend, to alienate. I didn't want to be different, the outsider. I wanted to belong. I wanted acceptance. I wanted love. And the price tag for that was the silence of my truths. Can I just tell you how very damaging that silence was? How every time I swallowed down what my heart was telling me, another piece of me was buried? Another facet of  who I am  was layered...

Recently, two prominent people have announced their “defection” from Christianity and, for me, it’s particularly heartbreaking to read the harsh opinions about it. The truth though is that they are not alone. There is a seemingly large desertion, myself included, of the traditional ideas of church and religion.  That begs to have the question answered, why? Whether it be temporary or permanent, I’m finding that most of those that I talk with are looking for one thing. More.  More love, less condemnation. More inclusiveness, less division. More openness, less judgment. More world, less these 4 walls. I believe that Jesus was all about a life of more. More than a book. More than a church service. More than a religion.  He was about going past what the people of that time knew. He was about finding the more, and that took shaking things up, asking hard questions, changing old thoughts, patterns, beliefs.  More always comes at the cost of loss. ...