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Showing posts from November, 2015

6 life lessons in 6 months...letting go (part 1)

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Life is about letting go.
"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small and the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all! Let it go, let it go!"*
I spent these last six months living at a distance. It wasn't out of any reason other than I needed to breathe. breathe fresh air, on my own, without a steady barrage of outside influences. Like a sponge, I soak up the atmosphere that I am in, good or bad. I needed to just be with Jesus and learn how to let Him be my only influencer. not friends, not church, not outsiders. no one else. I had to decipher between the real me and the people pleaser, soaking up what they wanted, becoming that person, until I was in the next situation, and so on and so on. 
soak. become. rinse. repeat.
I've realized in this time though that I say and do what I know they want me to say and do, be who they want me to be. and I had to let that go. I had to let go of all the expectations, mine and others. I …

where the church gets it wrong...starbucks and jesus

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I desire open, honest, and nonjudgmental communication from all people and all views and all ideas. The words of my posts are simply my own thoughts on how the church* can fully be operational in His Love.


If you know anything about me personally, you realize that I love Starbucks. like can barely drive by without stopping love it. like help me lord love it. like they know me by name love it. Get the picture? So, when the day after Halloween arrived and their red cups appeared, I was ecstatic. Why? Because if you know anything about me personally, you realize that I love Christmas. like can barely wait until Black Friday to put up my tree love it. like leave decorations up until Valentines love it. like celebrate my Jesus love it. Get the picture?

Yes, I love Starbucks and Christmas and Jesus. I didn't look at my cup of piping hot deliciousness to see if it said 'Merry Christmas' or 'Happy Hanukkah' or 'Happy Holidays' or 'Bah Humbug'. Why? Becaus…

6 life lessons in 6 months...home (part 2)

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Faithful One, no matter how far I run, You lead me home, You extend Your love. Patiently fathering the orphan in me, You say I am Yours...I never am alone, I never am alone, You found me.
Fluctuating between home and being the prodigal has become a dreaded way of life for me. At home, I know that I am loved, that I am a Son, or so I think. But head knowledge and heart knowledge are two completely different things, and I was operating in my head. Recently, I walked away after an amazing experience with my Father with the Truth seared in my head and on my heart. I. Am. A. Son. 
Righteousness found only in Your face, You see my heart, You extend Your grace. Eyes open, falling in love again, You say I’m Yours...It was always You, It was always You, You found me.
No more unworthiness.
No more rejection.
No more running away.
No more squandering.
I. Am. A. Son.
I’m singing out Your lovely name, I’m giving You everything.
You make my soul alive, You put your love inside.

I am His most treasure…

I am...complete

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Process : a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end; a systematic series of mechanized or chemical operations that are performed in order to produce or manufacture something.

I can process with the best of them. I've processed every single move I've made over the last few years and honestly, process is like a four-letter word to me right now. I don't want to process. I was intentional about every move I made over Koinonia. I know the whys and hows behind it. And if I don't, I am okay with that too. Because Papa was in it all. Process means that I am working towards a particular end, and there is no end for me to strive towards right now. From the time I purposed to drop my walls, His finished work in me began. I know that doesn't seem to go together - finished and began - but I have no other way to explain it. Walls dropped, healing came, my heart opened, He crawled inside, into my home, and I became His finished creation.

Admittedly, th…