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Showing posts from December, 2013

just believe

It seems like there is always that one mountain that I keep going around. It stops me in my forward motion, blocks my path, detains me from my destiny. It towers over me, whispers its lies in my ear, fills me with doubt. It beats me up, with its incessant distortion of the truth, and leaves me limp and useless. And yet, there is a charm to its beguiling ways that keeps me entranced, like I'm locked in the stare of a snake charmer, unable to escape the obvious danger.  The mountain has a name. It is Unworthiness.On good days, I recognize it, stop my trek, and resolve once again to believe in who I am. Just believe. Believe that I am good enough. Believe that I am created this way for a purpose. Believe that who I am is exactly who I should be. Believe that what He says is the real Truth. Believe that I am worthy, that I am His daughter, that I am royalty. Believe that together, we can decimate that mountain, once and for all times!  Anything you do for the attention or…

growing pains

I am obviously not a child physically, but at times, I feel like I am in my spiritual walk. While I have been a "Christian" for 20+ years, I have only walked as a Daughter of my Father for the past 3. This evolution from what I thought being His meant to truly becoming His has been quite a journey. It has been the best adventure ever, but also one of the most painful. and I have no one to blame but myself. Growth happens. It can't be stopped. It shouldn't be stopped. As an infant moves through the stages to adulthood, there are uncomfortable times, there are growing pains, but we don't interrupt the progress, we don't halt the march to maturity. And yet, in my own process, this is exactly what I have done. At the first hint of discomfort, I am ready to bail, to jump His ship and tread water on my own. I want the 'warm fuzzy' Jesus, the 'feel good' love. Let's just be honest, I want it easy. But there is no true growth in easy and definite…

leaving love

Love.
Love.
Love.
Love God.
Love people.

Anyone who has read any of my writings, or spent some real time with me in the last few years, knows that this is my heart, that this is what I am about, my love for Him, His love for me, and the love we share for all of His people. Love. It's that simple. Just love.

I lived most of my life believing that God was someone to be feared, a heavy-handed dictator, waiting to penalize me for each infraction. I spent my time either making sure that my transgressions were big enough to justify my being punished, or existing in a super vigilant atmosphere of black and white, good and evil, right and wrong. Both were hell.

This is why I embrace His love with both arms, with all that I have, all that I am. I need that love. I want that love. It is necessary to my soul. Being washed in His love has removed the fears and irrational beliefs of who He is, of who I am. It has strengthened me, bonded me to Him like never before, changed me, made me alive. It…