what marriage counseling taught me...lesson #1

25 years together. We've weathered a lot in that time, some of it trivial and petty, some of it damaging and painful. Why now? was the question posed to us at the beginning of our first session of marriage counseling.

There was nothing major. No breaking points. No huge disagreements​. Nothing bad. We were good. But, good was beginning to feel inadequate. Good felt like settling. We no longer wanted just good. 

We wanted to be better. We wanted the best.

And so, off we went to counseling, hubby kicking and screaming. Okay, maybe that is a bit dramatic, but definitely dragging his feet and muttering! But, he loves me more than he dislikes this new, uncomfortable situation, and so he shows up, not just physically, but all of him shows up for all of me, and I love him even more for that.

It's in this showing up that we found our better. We  found a place to be safe, to be real, to be love, to be transparent. All the aspects that we already are, just on a deeper level. We are still learning (4 sessions in). We are unsure of this new terrain. We stumble. We adjust. We move on. We keep showing up, not once a month for our session, but with each other, every single day, in every single moment.

Best isn't the final destination that I once believed. It is a deep and wide home of freedom that has us exploring like brand new lovers, reborn into this life we've already built. Our best looks like a get-away weekend and it looks like a disagreement over pet peeves, like exploring new futures and like healing old pasts. It looks like life, done with one another.

Because that is what commitment does : it shows up in the perfect and in the worst of days, throwing everything it has into being one with the other, no. matter. what.

Good. Better. Best.
It is all found in the journey. ~lesson #1


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