what marriage counseling taught me...lesson #2

Exactly one year ago, the hubby and I renewed our wedding vows. It wasn't our actual wedding anniversary - that is still two months away. It was a date that I had picked based on the numbers, 8/16.
8 signifies the ushering in of a new era, a regeneration, and new beginnings. 16 is the number of love.
My intentions were to start the next 25 years off more in love than ever before; to move from good to better to the best we could be together. Of course, life has a funny way of walking me through my intentions to the reward on the other side! And so, just four months later, we were sitting in an office​, across from a marriage counselor, working our way to best. (you can find that story here lesson #1)
It was in this office that I found a safety to explore my roots of rejection, the vines that had sprouted from that place, and the damaging fruit that I had been partaking in because of it. It had become my go-to, my comfort food of choice, my sour wine that I couldn't pour down the drain. It was detrimental to me, to my life, and especially to my marriage, and yet, it was like a person who is dying of lung cancer but continues to smoke - I had become addicted to this unhealthy way of walking through life. It was what I knew, and therefore became my comfortable, my familiar, my dwelling.
Once recognized though, it couldn't return to complacent anonymity. The time had come to burn down this cozy cave; to set about the grueling task of mowing down this corrupted vineyard, exposing harmful roots, and excavating them. Some of these roots are firmly entrenched, having enjoyed years of being nurtured. Some are surprisingly easy to uproot, having decayed long ago in neglect as healing eradicated their grip. This is no child's play. It has been one of my most demanding commitments ever. And most important.
Ask either one of us and we will tell you honestly - this last year has been the absolute best of our married life. We laugh more, listen more, love more, live more. We have replaced our excavated spots with a rejuvenated love that heals, that has birthed new vines of joy, that has yielded delicious fruits of stability and passion and life. This new beginning of a timeworn love runs deep and wide, infiltrating remaining strongholds, wearing them away with truth and light, and paving the way for eventual domination!
Good. Better. Best
Not every vineyard produces good wine. ~lesson #2


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