Skip to main content

where the church gets it wrong...loving yourself

I desire open, honest, and nonjudgmental communication from all people and all views and all ideas. The words of my posts are simply my own thoughts on how the church* can fully be operational in Love.



“That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.” ~ Luke 10:27  The Message

Growing up in a conservative church, I heard this verse plenty of times, usually with the emphasis on one of two parts. Either we were learning how to love God, or we were learning how to love others. 

That colored my thoughts, and therefore my actions, on what loving myself looked like. Turn the other cheek. Be a doormat. Put others needs ahead of my own. Love with no boundaries. Loving myself equaled being self-centered.

In these past few years, my understanding of this has changed, evolved into a place where I am beginning to comprehend just how revolutionary it is. I am grasping just how very much self love is good, and necessary, and holy. It's like a Sally Field moment, "The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me." Loving myself, liking  myself, fosters even more love for others.

Call me an idealist, but I believe that every problem facing us today has the same solution - love. abundant and freeing, overflowing and forgiving, intentionally invested, all in.
 
What if, instead of looking at the "sins" of people, the church begin to love them in such a way that says,"I get it. I get that we may not have shown you that yes, you are important, worthy of Love, my love, and especially, worthy of your own love. Let's mend these wounded places right now, right in the mess of all of this. You are good. You are loved. We don't see all of this stuff, we just see YOU."

We will only love others with the same love that we bestow upon ourselves. If we can't love ourselves in this manner, that is exactly why we can't love others correctly. 

There are people all around us crying out to know that loving their self is okay, that it isn't wrong or selfish. The lack of love for themselves is evident in how they treat their bodies, how they talk about themselves, in how they willingly harm themselves, time after time.

It has to stop. the church can stop it.
They have the answer.  
Love.












*When I say "church", I mean as a whole entity, not necessarily one denomination or actual building, etc.

*some other 'where the church gets it wrong' posts   
starbucks 
racism 
loving yourself
mental illness








Comments

Popular posts from this blog

and the honor goes to...part 1

This will be a series of posts in which I honor people who have made an impact in my life, both in my past and in my present. I am blessed to still have some of these people in my life; others have left this life for their next one; others are no longer a part of my close circle, yet still made a difference to me. I want to share them with you. I want to honor them. I want them to know how much I love and respect them. The first one is dedicated to my childhood babysitter, Pat B. Growing up, both of my parents worked. This meant that my sister and I went to a babysitter when we were younger. We had a few, but the one that we spent the most time with, and that I remember the most, lived right up the road from us. We were actually neighbors, but being in the country, that meant a cornfield separated us. I recall being there when I was in kindergarten until I was old enough to stay by myself, probably around 12 or 13. I love to reminisce about my time there. It was my home away from ...

the deconstruction of my life and other not-so-fun moments : reckless love

    About ten years ago, I caught on to this revolutionary (to me) idea of radical love. I wanted more than anything to be   Love, the mouthpiece, the hands, the feet of Jesus, the very embodiment of all that love is. I spoke about love and forgiveness, acceptance and grace. I was the voice. I helped feed the hungry and clothe the poor. I was the hands. I went about my life, in my own town, in another country, spreading this newfound love. I was the feet. The more I swam in the deep of this reckless sea of unadulterated love, the freer I was. It was liberating like no other point of my christian walk had been. I knew authenticity and openness and joy in limitless ways. This love was overflowing and I gave it away freely. but The church is not in the free business. It became quite clear that I was being too   free with my approach. Yes, god gives grace, BUT... Yes, god forgives, BUT... Yes, god accepts all, BUT... Of course god loves all, BUT... So, I tempered my love...

the deconstruction of my life and other not-so-fun moments : forgiveness

Forgiveness. It isn't always simple. It definitely should never be expected. And, there are times that it is given without ever having been asked for. But, for me, for the instances that I shall detail in this Deconstruction series, I am actively applying it as a monthly meditation. I found this beautiful forgiveness intention written by Michael B. Beckwith: "I forgive you and set you free. Your actions no longer have power over me. I acknowledge that you are doing the best that you can, and I honor you in your process of unfoldment. You are free and I am free. All is well between us. Peace is the order of the day." I wrote about two very specific people in my last post (you can read that  here ). Part of my process of deconstructing my life is to take these experiences and flip the narrative. I am taking apart the whole, laying it out for introspection, and reassembling it my   way, for my   benefit. I am healing in the places I have been wounded. And so, I quieted my s...